I'm Not Worth Very Much
 

My son and I went to the antique store
The clerk said just look around
My son whispered in his ear
The clerk looked me up and down
He looked me right in the eye
And this is what he said
It's a point in his favor
That he's not soiled and such
It's certainly true that he's quite old
But he's not worth very much

I proposed to a young hottie
I thought I'd give it a try
I told her, "It's not a bad deal
You'll get all my stuff when I die"
She looked me right in the eye
And this is what she said
It's a point in your favor
That you're near death and such
It's certainly true that you're quite old
But you're not worth very much

It's the story of my life
God said, "What's going down?"
Since I've already made him
I'll let him stick around
He sucks in air and takes up space
He gets in the way and such
He's certainly not my best work
He's just not worth very much

I went to give my body to science
So they won't plant me in the ground
I feel like I am fading away
How long will I be around
The man looked me right in the eye
And this is what he said
It's a point in your favor
That you have all your parts and such
It's certainly true that you look fresh
But you're not worth very much

I finally arrived at the pearly gates
Saint Peter said, "Don't you know?"
You've gotten a raw deal on the earth
But you have to go down below
He looked me right in the eye
And this is what he said
It's a point in your favor
That you made it this far and such
It's certainly true that you're quite dead
But you're not worth very much

 © 2009 Don Young