Trophy Wife
 

There's no doubt in my mind
She wouldn't win a race
I had a trophy wife
But it was not first place
I certainly didn't know
She would get so fat
I had seven dollars
And she ran thru with that

There was a time long ago
I can only reminisce
I can barely remember
When things were not like this
Back then she had a body
That you could hardly believe
You hated to see her go
But you loved to watch her leave

I must admit that she got fat
When she walked her belly would shake
Every time that she sat down
You thought it was a big earthquake
It was clear to everyone
Her looks were not invitin'
From behind her hips looked like
Two pigs in a sack a fightin'

She's a woman for all seasons
She kept me warm in winter
Then when the weather got hot
I laid in her shade in summer
She weighed over three hundred pounds
People thought she was pregnant
I just look at it this way
I doubled my investment

Last year we went to the county fair
She got close to the pig judging deck
I knew she would get into trouble there
She got a medal hung around her neck

I told her to trim her toenails
But our waterbed got a rip
The last time I saw Mabelline
She was floating like a ship
Out the door and away she went
She was moving at quite a clip
Goodbye my giant Mabelline
I hope you have a safe trip

 © 2007 Don Young