God Don't Want No Sour Pusses
 

The hospital says you better come quick
It seems your wife is deathly sick
Just hurry there and don't despair
The smell of death is in the air
The doctor says I'm not joking
Looks like your wife was close to croaking
As it is her only sound
Is a high pitched howl like a hound
You'll have to feed her
You'll have to wipe her
For the rest of her life
You'll have to change her diaper
You begin to cry and begin to beg
The doctor says I was pulling your leg
Don't pay any mind to what I said
The simple fact is ... she's dead

Turn that frown upside down
Be a joker
Be a clown
Let's be happy
Let's have fun
Keep your back to the wind
And the devil on the run
Don't be dour
Don't be fickle
If you wanta be sour
Just eat a pickle
With gloomy gusses and wimpy wusses
God don't want no sour pusses

You get the call and have to go to Iraq
Hey Mr. recruiter can he take it back
You get to Iraq and it's kinda neat
Then a bomb goes off under your seat
You were driving that's all you remember
The doctor says you've lost your member
Don't get yourself down, don't be a sad sack
Just think about this, maybe it'll grow back
You think to yourself what kind of a quack
Would try to tell me that it will grow back
Then you find out and it's a low blow
They're saving money, you got an HMO

Our neighbor went out to mow his hay
Where my dog and I used to like to play
He said keep your dog away from that blade
Or you'll wind up with a dog that's filleted
I soon found out he wasn't lying
In a second his legs went flying
My dad got ready to put him down
I said don't do it dad I love that hound
He said how can a dog live without legs
I said I'll whittle sticks and make peg legs
When I strapped them on I got such a fright
He just fell over, it was a gruesome sight
After a long time he could hobble around
But we had a fire and the dog burned to the ground

 © 2007 Don Young